Bemused Amusements

At last -- we're going to get this whole mess about about psychiatry, psychology, neurology straightened out by Tom Cruise, noted cute box office star. After all, Tom has read the history of psychiatry as well as the medical research -- he may not be glib, but he does know what he's talking about. He makes a living -- a very good living -- appearing in fantasies where he fights creatures from outer space. And, as a cult member, he must possess extensive personal experience in the realm of the bizarre.

At least now we can guess why he split up with Nicole -- she probably donated his back issues of Acta Paediatrica to a hospital library, and he got pissed off.

Now here's the latest rumor -- just remember that you heard it here first. Next week, Good Morning America is going to have Dolly Parton and Roseann Barr as guests -- and together they're going to reveal their cure for cancer.

I guess they read about it somewhere -- in the medical research. Who needs these doctors anyway -- hell, we've got actors!