Friday, July 01, 2005
Debates
Well, Sandra Day O'Connor resigned today, and I have the perfect replacement. Tom Cruise. I mean -- why not? He can fight extraterrestrials, he's a widely recognized expert in human biochemistry, psychology, psychiatry. . . I bet he's an expert on the legal system, too.
Have you noticed that we live in a very strange society? We have experts in everything coming out of our ears. We send these people to school for many years -- they spend their lives attending conferences, writing dissertations, reading papers. But when we need expertise, we turn to actors and celebrities. Mel Gibson teaches us theology, Arnold Schwartzeneggar (how do you spell his name?) runs California, Ronald Reagan ran the country, and now Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields are leading a national debate on the efficacy of psychiatric drugs.
Tom says that there's no such thing as a chemical imbalance. Brooke seems to feel that there is. Is not. Is so. Is not. Is so. Is not. Is so. The intelligence of a debate between these participants would be truly compelling.
It's like when people debate about the existence of God. I mean, how stupid is that? If there is a God, would he/she suddenly vanish if the non-believer made the more convincing argument? And, if there isn't a God, would one spring into existence if the believer prevailed in the debate?
Suppose you don't believe in God. If you're right, then what do you gain by debating the point? Nothing. But what if you're wrong? If there really is this omnipotent entity, do you really want to piss him/her off?
It seems to me that the key to the whole thing is to hold the debate somewhere where even an omniscent God can't find out about it. That way, he/she won't hear the negative arguments and get pissed off.
Now you might think that finding such a place would be difficult, but it isn't. I know the perfect spot. Wrigley Field in Chicago. After all, I've followed the Cubs' fortunes for many years, and I can assure you that God never sets foot there.
Have you noticed that we live in a very strange society? We have experts in everything coming out of our ears. We send these people to school for many years -- they spend their lives attending conferences, writing dissertations, reading papers. But when we need expertise, we turn to actors and celebrities. Mel Gibson teaches us theology, Arnold Schwartzeneggar (how do you spell his name?) runs California, Ronald Reagan ran the country, and now Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields are leading a national debate on the efficacy of psychiatric drugs.
Tom says that there's no such thing as a chemical imbalance. Brooke seems to feel that there is. Is not. Is so. Is not. Is so. Is not. Is so. The intelligence of a debate between these participants would be truly compelling.
It's like when people debate about the existence of God. I mean, how stupid is that? If there is a God, would he/she suddenly vanish if the non-believer made the more convincing argument? And, if there isn't a God, would one spring into existence if the believer prevailed in the debate?
Suppose you don't believe in God. If you're right, then what do you gain by debating the point? Nothing. But what if you're wrong? If there really is this omnipotent entity, do you really want to piss him/her off?
It seems to me that the key to the whole thing is to hold the debate somewhere where even an omniscent God can't find out about it. That way, he/she won't hear the negative arguments and get pissed off.
Now you might think that finding such a place would be difficult, but it isn't. I know the perfect spot. Wrigley Field in Chicago. After all, I've followed the Cubs' fortunes for many years, and I can assure you that God never sets foot there.
# posted by Bill @ 8:15 PM 
